i have carried on his charity responsabilites. he was a very giving man. we never had much money to spare, but at a very young age we were taught to give our time and love to those that are in need. i think i wrapped a zillion toys for our toy drive yesterday. it was very hard to do it. this time last year i had helped him. i would wrap a few presents then cry a few minutes. those memories would flood into my mind. once i looked up, hearing a noise, and i saw my mother crying also. i am thinking about myself now. i have tried to help others cope but now it is my turn. that is what my therapist told me anywho.