hey.

i know that doing hair, and shopping and bubble baths are all prescribed rofl for depression but it don't work for me. going out is traumatic when the depression is the anxious people-eeky kind. the trip, a huge mall, and a probably busy salon would freak me out, so i'm for blow it off unless you feel good about going right just now. i am also having trouble with keeping up with my personal care, so i totally know how that goes. my mom like makes comments every now and then...

fwiw, i have never dyed my hair. i'm dark auburn and aging doesn't give blonde streaks "to match nicely." so i have odd crookedy silver strands and onto streaks - totally weird. i don't care - it's me, no less than the wrinkles deepening and the skin on my wrists showing less elasticity... it's me in the here and now.

oh, i just read Curious' idea about a wash-out color ... i like that idea if you feel it is doable, and doing a coloring would give you a lift. at least no full-people-immersion!

or, can you think of your hair as being SILVER, or salt-n-pepper, rather than grey??? they sound more exciting, don't they?

i am so sad to hear you so down. good that your boss is understanding, and i do agree with your old tdoc. but also you do sound like a great teacher and one who can really hold the fort, esp with students that age. even if you were a mess and feel "at fault" for what happened, the fact is you dealt with it no if ands or buts. you mentioned control issues. even if the students got unruly because of your unwellness, their behavior is not your "fault" it was not in your control, period. you did NOT set them screaming. i will NOT give you credit for that, sorry! You DO get the credit (double) for dealing with it, even when you were perhaps too ill to be there.

yes, you are a strong and wise woman. don't forget that, you beautiful grey-headed wonderful person you.

wear very soft comforting clothes like flannel, sweatsuits etc. do you have any essential oils - lavender or SWEET orange? those are relaxants. lavender can also help with headache. i am not trying to tackle the sleep thing here, just stuff to feel soothed maybe. i'm sorry about your not sleeping enough that is horrible i just wish your sleep issues would heal. you know that worsens depression too, right.

its ok about watching tv right now... like Bobby said, it is good that you CAN do that, it is still an activity, albeit passive. let it be so. give yourself CREDIT for that.

Ok, now, CURIOUS... BREAK OUT THE CHOCOLATE ON THIS THREAD !!! Mari, what's your fav, white, milk or dark? with nuts, almonds? orange crunch? mocha?



~ waves ~