Please see the posting to you on the other forum. I am sorry for your situation. Please don't give up yet. There are people responding to your post there also. You do have friends. Yes, these disease's can knock us down to levels that nobody should have to endure. It is mighty scary and yes outright lonely. There are people reaching out to you, and as crappy as it gets a lot, there can be help for you and just maybe something will help to ease your situation. Don't give up. A brighter day, hour, minute may be just around the bend. You never know. So go read those posting. OK. I am not near you but I can always be am email buddy and BEST WISHES TO YOU.