Hi Sunnysidedown,
I dont know exactly what demons you are fighting, but i've got a feeling i've been where you are. I was diagnosed with PTSD over alot of sexual abuse as a child and the flashbacks were horrid... I ended up in a hospital on suicide watch. I'm here to tell you things really do get better. That was 5 years ago. but still remember it clearly. If you'd like to chat, you can send me a PM...
I have to get my kiddos to school and then go to work, but i'll be back online this evening...
vicky