Dearest birte , my sky-blue lady-
After reading your words I do not feel so alone, I writhe my reply and the tears are falling on my hands. Tusen takk, you show my feelings with your words. I will give this to my children, it explains my sometimes strange behavior and not being able to speak in the special situations .

Coming back from my 5 days visit by my brother, his wife, his ex wife, sitting on the train for 8 hours, being in the theater, next day, the big Cathedral church listen to concert where his wife was singing Bach, talking for 6 hours with his ex wife ,who the day before had got the message that the ovary cancer had dispersed, -talking, thinking , answering : ABOUT ME: everything seems all right," you look so young and healthy ". I agreed trying to coop , struggle to say what I meant ,with my voice that became more and more monotonous and weak .

Today I can hardly move , I feel I am on a boat, I feel lucky that I carried through my journey alone, not falling, not loosing anything . The best is , they where so grateful for my visit. I can still mean something to them and I realise, they respect and loves me. I had to come home before I realized it, when I am relaxed ,my thinking is clear and realistic.

Thank you birte ! I send this reply , itīs a messy thing, but you will translate it in your heart.