I appreciate all the input, support, and kind words in response to my post.

I am in the process of preparing the supposed "complete file" from the LTD insurance company, and getting it ready to send to the next lawyer, who is hopefully not a minion of the insurance machine, that has grown far too powerful and pervasive in our everyday lives.

The things I have discovered while researching this process both about doctors, and insurance, are well.... as Don Henley said, "This is the end of the innocence".

I will continue to fight the good fight, and thanks for the many thoughts that put a little wind in my sails as they were luffing.

My eyes are wide open to the vast corruption of not only the aforementioned entities, but our law makers who have created this legislation (ERISA) which is solely beneficial to the huge insurance companies. Imagine my shock when I discovered that no matter how long the insurance company denies, and delays payment of what I am rightfully entitled to, they will in the end only pay the same amount as if they paid on the first day they received my claim. No penalty, no damages, so why should they pay??

The pettiness of their assertions as to why I should still be able to work (because I can sit.... nevermind that I can't think but maybe 3 days in 10) are so parochial that they make one feel ridiculous in addressing them, and playing the game.

In the midst of the most difficult time of my life, I am forced to undertake something I would find immensely challenging under normal circumstances.

There is only one way that we as patients can truly serve ourselves regarding such travesties and that is to fight for changes to this corrupt crony designed system of government, that serves only corporations, and not "We the People".

I have seen injustices in my life, but they all pale compared to this system, where no doctor is willing to write the evaluation that certifies a patient as disabled, because they have become so cow-cowed to the insurance and drug companies.

I actually asked this most recent Neurologist if he had a significant number of MS or PA patients, to which he responded that he does/did. I continued, by asking, "Just curious, but out of those vast numbers, how many did you mis-diagnose with somatized disorder, and prescribe Anti-depressants?" He reponded that he had never mis-diagnosed a single MS, or PA case. I remarked that he must be really good, because based on everything I have seen, heard, and read, that seems a statistical improbability if not impossibility.

In fact once you have been told that you definitely, not probably, have Pernicious Anemia, as he had me, it means that your intrinsic factor has been negated by ones autoimmune system. There is no cure for this, and taking B12 (tablets... hmph) cannot change the fact that your body does not allow the intrinsic factor to work as it should, and the villi damage in the small intestines remain permanently damaged, so it doesn't go away in 6 months or 10 years, even if B12 levels should rise to acceptable levels.

Equally, the profound damage done to nerves, and resultant brain damage, motor functions, mobility, or general abilities to function daily, to say nothing of the pain which often goes untreated because few doctors believe a person with so many symptoms to be anything other than a somatized person, therefore only requiring one pill. An anti-depressant. DONE! What time do I tee off?

As I look here and across the web, and see vast numbers of patients praising anecdotally, not scientifically, the use of B12 shots for their MS, and yet no one is asking the questions in a scientific setting, why are these two seperate diseases? The commonalities far exceed the disparities between the two diseases/syndromes/disorders/maladies, hell no one can even agree on what to call them.

I am astounded by the obvious that goes undisturbed, and unearthed for the sake of real discovery. What if PA, MS, and IBS (Iritable Bowel Syndrome) were all inter-related <Ooooooooooo> how could I an untrained, non-medical professional make such claims??

It seems to me that the Father and Mother who came up with Lorenzo's Oil fought the system, did their own research, and even fought with the support groups who argued that they should not break ranks and challenge the medical establishment with unproven protocols such as their oil, in spite of the profound progress their son experienced. How we do often resemble sheep, or lemmings more appropriately, as we accept this screwed up system, out of sheer exhaustion, not usually apathy.

Where are all the real inventors, and real humanitarians. Is every Doctor, Lawyer, and scientist only in their field for the money?? That's rhetorical of course, the answer is a reliably foregone assumption based on the omnipresence of evidence supporting the obvious conclusion.

Does no one in this country do anything anymore for genuine altruistic reasons? It appears not. Not without superman or Michael J. Fox spearheading your cause for more research money. Even then, it only lasts as long as the poor soul who makes their last days/months/years on this earth count for the many someones who follow in their footsteps, after their struggle culminates in the ultimate tragedy.

Forgive my verbose nature. Forgive my deep seated anger. I am a man who just wants to be able to lay down and feel terrible, when that's all I am capable of, and not have to worry if there is some paper to be filled out, or a call to be made, or an extention to file, or a doctor to beg to send in a report that's months overdue, and to beg your doctors to act on your behalf regarding matters of disability insurance.

I've worked in a highly paid profession for 30 years, and am not used to begging, but I'm getting better at it. Not by choice though.

Imagine a world where you purchase financial security vehicles such as LTD, or life insurance, and they actually are held to a reasonable standard of conduct. Why is there a CSI (Customer Satisfaction Index) for my car repair shop but not for people who keep us alive and well? Well who are supposed to.

Wake up... this is America!!!


PS. Never believe a doctor that says things like ... "They can't fire you while you're on disability". That's something I have personal knowledge is not only not true, but any doctor who has known one disabled patient, should know otherwise, and their motivations for making such patently untrue statements are highly suspect.