i'm so sorry for you and your family this holiday season. As for your husband, well some hearts ache different from other. It was good to see you post, and i'm sure your grief will ease, but never disappear. Allow your family to take care of you and yours this holiday season. People always ask "what can I do", well maybe you should tell them what to do. Dont feel bad about asking someone else to cook or someone else to shop for you. When people say they want to help, they really do. Lean on them. The last advice I can give is know we are praying for you and your family.