laura, i am so sorry for your loss.
i hate that but at least its a start..."does anyone else feel that way?" yes every day of my life.. i lost my dad in January, i saw him in the same place and watched the car...... angry, guilty ,sad, happy, screaming, lost .... there are parts of me that does not even know where to start ? but then there is also my family... they are huge part of my life and strange as it may seem, trust me you would have to meet them, they can help you.
my life, is that they reminded me why i didnt have anything to do with them before he died! but then my sister, who had even less contact with them than i did, has found comfort with them.
we all find look to find answers.... you might just find that opening up and talking to your family you too could find at the very least some comfort or understanding.. if not we are always here to listen..
big hugs

steash