Deb:

Family is very important.....so is the fact that you are employed and have benefits. That HAS TO TRUMP the family bit. It's being practical.

Now that's why they've invented the airplane, trains, cars, etc. For you to go and visit, for them to come and visit.

Also, and this is the next best thing since sliced bread, since you obviously know how to use a computer, get yourself a good webcam (with good resolution), and make sure the other people have the same.

You can view them every single day if you wish, you can see new grandkids, you can see YOUR own kids, you can COMMUNICATE. This is 2007. The technology is there. It's not that expensive.

Let me explain how this applies and why you should do this (if you can).

My girlfriend has an adopted son. He's is almost 30. He never knew he was adopted. They chose to tell him this fact about 8 months ago. To say he took it badly, is putting it mildly. He also found out he has a sister, other parents and grandparents (in another country). He does not understand one word of the language from the other country. But his adopted father is a native of that country and can speak it perfectly.

So what did the father do. He flew to his native country, he found his son's sister, (she never knew she had a biological brother), Being 2007, this girl had a computer, and a webcam. (She spoke no english whatsoever).

So when the son found out that his father found his sister, he was ecstatic.

He got a webcam for the family computer. So now we have two different countries, two different languages, but thankfully, an adoptive father who wanted to bring his son, his biological sister.

When that first transmission was made and everybody SAW each other for the first time, and translations are being made, well just imagine, everybody crying because even though they are thousands of miles away from each other, a little bit of technology known as a computer, allowed two families to connect to each other.

So if you are even a little bit computer savvy, and you may or may not have a webcam, all you have to do is make sure you have one, the other people have one (I'm just thinking that this is 2007 and everybody I know has a computer), well can you just imagine sitting down at your computer during dinner time, with a nice dinner and a glass of wine (that is if you can indulge), and at the other end, is your daughter or another family member and they are doing the same thing), You can SHARE A MEAL, with a family member and be thousands of miles away from each other.

I once did this with my son after he moved away (and before he became lost to us), I will never forget the joy of hooking up a webcam and at the other end, there was my smiling handsome son laughing his head off because Alan and I were going oooh, and aaaah, just being able to see our son who lived across the United States.

So don't fret for a minute if you can't move to Michigan. If you have a job and benefits and you think you can't get this by moving, just stay the course, hook up a webcam and visit with them whenver you can. It's free. I mean, thank goodness for the internet and computers.

While it's not the same as being in the room with the people, at least you can see each other.

I'm getting my 85 year old uncle to finally hook up his computer.

I just had to tell him 'don't you want to see your daughter's children whenever you want to??" He already had the computer in the house, but was afraid to go near it. I gently explained that it was not going to blow up, that if he wanted to accomplish a task, he had to get out of his comfort zone, and being an ex-teacher, and an ex-principal, he would have to do this. he completely agreed, he had someone hook up his computer, and he is going to get the webcam and start joining the computer society of webcam users. He had no idea. He is so excited, I can't tell you. So are his children.

And the people who live downstairs from me, well they are in their 80's and speak no english. I found an online translation service that translates for free, english into italian, and the reverse (in all languages), I have begun to write them e-mails and they receive it in italian. Imagine a guy over 80 sitting at a computer, and Melody, the lady who lives upstairs, is writing to them in italian. They think it's a hoot.

So don't fret. You'll find a way to deal with all of this. And have a good time wiith your daughter.

Merry Merry.

Melody