Been there/Done that!

My oldest son was doing drugs in his Father's house while the younger two were still living there. He was in his late twenties and earned money by posting his naked body on pay per view web sites. His youngest brother, still in school, called me from their Dad's house to tell me about it. I went straight to their Dad's house. I didn't search the house. I immediately called the police and allowed them in the house to search my oldest son's room. They discovered drugs and drug paraphanalia, and took him away.

Sorry, but this calls for tough love. Give him a taste of how it feels to be distrusted by calling the police. Show him that if he wants to continue living at home in YOUR house, he must follow your rules. Better now, while he is young and impressionable. More likely when he sees he can't pull the wool over your eyes lie or hide things from you, he will straighten out his act. Teach him that trust is earned not a right.

I watched my oldest son be handcuffed and taken away. He was not allowed back home and bummed around from friend's house to friend's house.
He refused to talk or have anything to do with me for five years. He lost his car, got kicked out of the home he was staying and asked his Dad for a ticket to Florida (we live in Minnesota.) He stayed with his best friend from High School (His best friend took him on despite the fact that I called and warned him that Robert had changed and would use him.) They both got kicked out after 3 months because my son sat home and played video games all day and didn't have his half of the rent. I kept in touch with him and told him I loved him but not his behaivior. When they lost the apartment, I found out from his friend my son had finally found work at a gas chain of small stores. I called all the ones in his area and tracked him down. He was homeless and living in the woods. He finally called me one day and said he couldn't stand it anymore. I contacted his dad who bought him a ticket back. I walked him over to a local technical college and enrolled him in truck driving. He finished and is doing great as a over-the -road truck driver. Our home is his home base and he pays his step dad about $1,000 a month for the privledge. It's been working well for two years now.

Our students in the public schools are being taught to distrust their parents. They are indoctrinated as to their rights and brandish that information to rule at home, threatening their parents with child abuse laws. We are trying to hard to be our children's best friend rather than their parents. We allow them to lock us out of the room they reside in in our houses, and buy them cell phones to enable them to build a network of childish friends. They are allowed all rights and no responsibilities. I am so sorry for your situation, but it looks like you are the only adult in the home and the only parent. Teach your son right values by doing the right thing. Get the police involved.

Vicky