Depression puts a negative spin on everything. Depression causes negative thinking, negative thinking causes depression. It's a vicious cycle that's hard to escape. My negative thoughts are so automatic I don't even realize I'm doing it anymore. When you're depressed retreating is so much easier than getting out there. But isolation fuels depression and when I'm alone all the negative thoughts and alienation come flooding back.

I've been researching on my own about how and why someone retreats. I don't mean to do it and I don't know why it happens but I found this.........

Turn to trusted friends and family members. In your depressed state, you’ve probably retreated from your most treasured relationships. However, it is these relationships that can get you through this tough time. Communicate your needs to the people you love and trust. Ask for help when you need it.

I have no family left and my friends weren't my friends I found out. So I've retreated from you guys and I'm sorry for that.