Relax, dingbat, I know that I'm stuck with you. And us cyber people are a posse, we'll stick together through thick and thin.

My thing is that, at times, I practically torture myself over some of my friendships and there is just no reason. I need to let go of that stuff, the only one it hurts is me. My expectations tend to be unrealistic sometimes and then I go all cattywampus.

The other thing about this is that I'm in the detestable habit of making myself too vulnerable to being used. A good example is a friend/neighbor... scratch that... a neighbor with whom I have a fond and successful acquaintance. It finally struck me, after way too long, that the only time I hear from her is when she wants something from me. I enjoy her company very much but will no longer be accommodating her whims. It's that simple, I need to reconnoiter, regroup, and rebuild. I was safe and protected for a long time. I have let my guard down lately and it isn't right for me.

I'm even feeling guilty for not making my annual visit to some friends this winter. The reality is that I can't manage in their split-level home. It's not my fault! It's theirs. If they'd had the decency to buy a home where I could operate, we wouldn't be having this problem now, would we?

This is a personal survival mechanism for me. It's just easier, the hard part is letting go of the emotional dependency. I need my old self to get back on duty.

I'm not sure what to say either, Sal. Friendships can be skittish things. My niece and I were talking about this stuff the other night, she was lamenting some changes in her own friendships. She then quoted to me something I had apparently once told her, "Time culls friendships". Yikes, practically prophetic.

We all change, grow, advance, develop new interests, add new people, etc. all our lives. There isn't really room to lay blame on anyone, it kind of just happens. Sal, are there what I call "Christmas Card Friends" out there? Ones you could enjoy a reacquainted, catch-up kind of relationship? Maybe look up old school mates, I just had lunch in August with a gal I hadn't seen since high school and we had a blast. We now email a few times a month. It's fun.