The more I hear about the life of this boy who shot people and himself in an Omaha mall, the more angry I get with the mental health industry - and parents in general.

They say when he was in his early teens he threatened to kill his stepmother, so he was thrown into an institution for psychiatric help and drug rehab. When he was released at 18, he was kicked out of his home and went to live with a friend's family.

We wonder about what's happening to kids nowadays. I suspect the problem is we don't love and care for them. We only love the perfect ones who will perform for us. If they don't fit into the mold of perfection, we throw them away and expect strangers to "fix" them for us with either drugs or prison bars.

My husband and son locked horns quite often during that age, but we never gave up on him and we didn't "drug" him with anti-depressants to make him more obedient or balanced. We TALKED with him and showed him WHY certain rules need to be followed in life. We allowed him to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes while he was still safely under our roof.

From the time he learned to speak, my son and I had an agreement - he could say whatever he wanted to me in our home, as long as it was truthful. That way, I was able to keep a check on what was really going on inside his head. If he would have come to me saying he wanted to kill me or my husband, I wouldn't think to throw him in jail or commit him to an institution. I would have cleared my schedule and make him explain to me in detail why he thought that would be a good way to solve his problems.

We didn't shelter him from life either. He learned early on how to cope with abuse and rejection from the outside world.

I feel sorry for the people this boy in Omaha killed, but I can't help but feel really sorry for him and others who are thrown away by their parents due to lack of control. No one took the time to love this boy. Maybe if his parents focused more on nurturing their child instead of merely controlling him while growing up, he wouldn't have become such an angry and explosive adult. Maybe if they had loved him, he could have learned to love himself and others instead of viewing himself as a "piece of crap" with no compassion for others.

So much for "pro-life," huh? I hope all these young teenagers who are having babies now realize how much work, sacrifice and sleepless nights they will have to endure for the REST of their lives. Children are not dolls or pets - they are human beings. I bring this up only because I'm very pro-choice. I considered this option when I became pregnant with my son because I was going through a divorce at the time and knew I'd be raising a biracial child on my own. I never regretted my decision to keep my child because I thought long and hard before making my decision. As a result, he's the light of my life. I'm not 100% sure he would have turned out so well if I had been forced to have him - or forced to give him up for adoption. It's possible there could have been feelings of resentment from both of us.

Good Lord, how I miss my son. He'll be home on leave in 12 days, and I can't wait to give him a HUGE hug.