I was wondering how you were my friend. I just PM'd you before I saw this.

I am sorry that you are going through so much. I do know what you are saying about extending life though. I have always said I wouldn't do anything to extend mine if I ended up with something like Cancer or other problems intestinal.

You know my story. I have been suicidal since I was about 8 years old so that's why I have lived in councelling for over 8 years and it doesn't do anything for me wanting to do as you said, extend my life. With councelling though it helps with the suicidal thoughts and dealing with the everyday stress that I go through. I laid in bed this morning and thinking about how I have lost 12 relatives in 8 years. Now my older brother has cancer. It never seems to let up on the depression there.

Like you though, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I am ok with where I am at today in my mess as I call it. What gets me is the little extra problems we end up with along with the major ones.

I do hope that you start feeling better and I hope that you can get the pump. I have no ideal how that will work. I hope they will do it for you and I am thinking they might. I have heard that they have done it for people with cancer so it might just be a go for you my friend.

Anyway, I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Ada