Dear Vertigo,

I have certainly lost the passions I had when I was in my 30's and 40's. Then I would accept nothing but the best in myself. I play in musical groups, still, but not out of the desire to be the best, but to enjoy making music with others, not being superior to them. I also share my joy of being able to play with the audience by wearing funny hats and such, and talking to them afterwards, espiecially the older folks, to thank them for coming.

My husband and I have not had sex in over a year. It is no longer a marriage based on passion and desire, but on support, commitment, and love. I give him a reason for working and he gives me help in every aspect of my life. We are both aging togeather and laugh about the aches and pains we share. My children are my greatest gift to him. All three of my boys have accepted him in their lives as an important person, which has helped him feel accepted as a Dad.

Yes, many passions have passed into my past, but have been replaced by more deeper and trustworthy pleasures. I wonder at the wonderful father my son has turned out to be. My oldest son has taught me that the struggles he underwent as a child (the school geek everyone picked on) can be overcome (not without suffering) as long as someone in their lives never gives up on them.

There are days my husband gets sick or is too tired when he gets home to talk. I think about how much easier to stop taking from him what he gives. To live alone, decide when to eat, not have to deal with his family, but I for me, I have learned to allow myself to rely on other family members and not always be the one in charge anymore.

Passion was so important in my younger years. It drove me to acheive and be productive. But I am now happy to watch my children have the passion for their families, their jobs, and to make a difference in the world. Their time has come to excel and my time has come to step back and allow them. It is simply the flow of life, not the effects of Parkinson's disease.

Vicky