My kids are not helpful unless I scream and yell. I find that when I give them a list, more things get accomplished. They kind of break the list apart and take certain chores. I usually do this when I have to go to work and they are home. They know it must be done before I get back. Things are usually never done exactly the way I like it but a great help. When they know they have a deadline it helps. Hope you feel better. Try to ignore the mess for now. Enjoy going out for your Christmas dinner and try to just enjoy your family. I think we are staying home this year on Christmas and hanging out in pj's. Sometimes too much hustle causes too much stress and pain. Feel better! Linda