you asked- "when you get one side done, does the other side flare up from all the activity??"

I haven't been through it - but I suppose it depends on a lot of factors.
I think if you keep to the basic minimum and only do necessary uses you should be off to a good start.
You wouldn't want to risk messing something up, focus on the healing at first.

Do the gentle ROM motions -they should show and tell you about those and when to start doing them before you leave the hospital.

I guess I'm saying take one day at a time and see how it all goes for you and how you are feeling.