Oh God i'm feeling funny and don't know what to do.
I had a drink an hour ago; I think i've got the FLU.

The room is spinning badly now, I've lost my fags and lighters,
My neck is stiff I hate bright light, have i got MENINGITIS?

My stomach is doing somersaults, my mind is in hysteria.
I've thrown up twice, but i dont have lice, but i think i've got DIPTHERIA.

My head is shot, my mouth is dry, but i do not have the answer,
My lips are numb, my gums still hurt; I think i've got Throat CANCER.

Oh dear Lord i've been sick again, and my spleen is in the sink.
If only i could control myself, and never bloomin DRINK

I will go to hospital tomorrow morning, and tell them of my pain.
And they'll all just look at me and 'TUT'....

Oh! DR Roberts, NOT AGAIN..................

David