Thanks all,

I have chilled a lot. I just really had that "my best friend just died " feeling. Christmas has been the one day when I get to play suzie homemaker and get to get all of the thanks/praise for a job well done, so it just felt like such a loss. Hubby doesn't really like to socialize, so I get to have company pretty much only when his family is coming. Obviously, I can have people over anyhow....he just makes it difficult by refusing to help pick up and whining about it.

I kind of flipped out on them all Saturday night. I was debating all day when my folks were still here what to do. I had told the kids that cleaning for Christmas was to be my present. They blew it off the weekend after Thanksgiving and the next weekend. I considered telling them that they didn't give me my present so I wasn't going to give them any (13 and 11 , so they don't believe in Santa anymore and they know that my husband won't shop) but I knew that I couldn't really do that. I also knew that I had to do something pretty drastic to get through to them. I came up with the plan to take away their biggest presents (which we can't really afford anyhow, thanks WC). After my parents left, I went to my secret stash and took out my a laptop and an IOU for a cell phone and said "See, this is what you are no longer getting. You need to get serious about this before you lose out on more." They did start cleaning on Sunday

So now I am trying to look at the positives. I did overspend, but now my credit card will be $1000 lighter. More importantly, it woke the kids up a bit. Now I won't have to do all of the decorating to impress. No white glove cleaning. No huge grocery shop (thank god for home delivery !)We'll get to see the younger nephews and nieces in their homes with all of their toys. No cooking ! And even better....no cleaning up after !

KLS.......I hear ya hon ! Things came to a head for us back in February and I asked for a seperation. He said that I shouldn't be so sure that I would get the kids..........that I'm addicted to pain meds and some days can't get out of bed. I spoke to a divorce lawyer who understood the difference between requiring and being addicted to pain meds, but warned me that until I get to the point when I can drive my kids to all social activities and cook, etc, that there is a chance a judge would find in his favor. As much as they drive me insane some days.....I just can not take the chance of losing my sons.

So if anyone here can just wave that magic wand and fix us all up, I'd really appreciate it !

Thanks for listening to my rants