Avery,

I replied to you post in Desi's thread, as I saw it there first, but wanted to just post here again quickly to let you know that you are in my thoughts and I am so sorry to hear that you have been through so much. I have a son who is seven and cannot imagine facing anything like that with either of my boys. That you carry on is truly an inspiration to me. I hope you find the balance you are looking for with respect to your meds. Keep trying different things if you have to untill you find something that works for you. You may never like how they make you feel - I know I don't, but if you can find a balance you can live with it can be so helpful. I struggle with that myself, as I find meds can dull experiences for me and I want to be present and fully experience life with my children, but going off them is not an answer as I become so imprisoned in my body and in pain that then I can't really experience anything. Good luck finding that balance for yourself and please call on us if you have any questions. I am sending extra huggs your way, and know it must be a difficult time of year for you all around. If you ever need someone to talk to please reach out...there seem to be many wonderful people here to talk to.
I hope this reply finds you having a good day.
Kimberly