I also think empathy may be genetic in some cases - but is learned also..... another phrase to describe it is "active listenting" - just repeating what a person just says to you to let them know you understand what they are saying is sometimes so crucial.... I actually had a class back in the dark ages in B school just on this topic - at the time I thought it was a fun easy A - but it was critical for people going into management - etc.... (of course some never got it anyway).... if you dont listen you dont hear what others real needs and pain may be - and just by repeating back to them acknowledges those feelings.....

In regards to social situations - it is interesting to watch how others respond to tramatic effects in our own lives.... those with empathy often understand the I'm sorry, what can I do, or even just a HUG sends such a strong message... its a comfort - people need to know they are being heard, that no one else can take away the pain, but there are those who care and you can reach out to them if need be - just again, for a HUG...... and yes, there is an "outpouring" right after a tramatic life event - and it does disspear very fast - and Cyclops - you're right - its important to continue to remember those people who are hurting - the first holidays, etc.....

For those of us chronically ill and dealing with huge life changes ourselves - I watch how my fam and friends have dealth with it... I cant participate in normal life any more, including eating and driving - some of them have been great - some literally pretend I'm dead... (she cant eat or drive - why bother) And if one is homebound - the pain can be devestating.....

I encourage all of us to reach out to someone else (and sometimes I mean just literally physcially reach out) and offer them comfort - everyone we come in contact with with influence in some way - one never knows when it will make an important change to another.......