Lynnlee...

while I was writing you posted reply. thanks for sharing more...You made So much sense! I really needed to get that support, validation & encouragement. Thanks so much for sharing your insights & experiences.

Perhaps should start another thread on these issues. Being a caregiver even in the best circumstances is challenge & stressful. Many healthy people get sick w/in first year of caregiving. I had just had series of major life changes/ issues & losses when I became primary caregiver for both parents in their home.
My mother died last year but this Xmas/holidays seem to be harder than first year w/out her. I know each day is difficult for my father. Wish I could do more... for him. feel badly that he's so affected by my problems. He's a sweetheart, so patient & tolerant, never complains, asks for little except love which he gives much.
I do feel ashamed & sad that I erupted w/ him. He's gone thru so much--w/ my mother, my self & his conditions-- he feels others pain & problems even more than his own. he's now wheelchair bound & dependent on others. He was always the one who took care of everyone & everything. I don't know how he did so much; wish I was more like him. perhaps I was before -- why my disabilities & dysfunction bother me so much --I feel I should be doing so much more & better... but we are still alike in many ways and that's good but it can become otherwise...esp. when we spend so much together in our rather isolated world trying to deal w/ our issues

I hope & pray for Better... for all...

thanks again for sharing...