My kids are all quite grown with the exception of one DD child we adopted who is in her teens but really more like 6. NONE of my older kids want gifts. One asked to help her with money to come see us, but she lives 1,000 miles away and is in grad school...that is what she wants. My oldest makes more money than my hubby, and she says she needs nothing. My son is getting married and we are contributing to his wedding and he wants 'nothing' and my youngest son, he needs money, but he 'hates holidays' and gets depressed and says it is all about consumerism now a days. He says it isn't like the old days.

We used to have a magical Christmas Eve, but this year we have to change it to accomodate the plans of new in-laws and that is life, as families blend, we need to do that.

In the 'old days' even in-laws all lived nearby....

On the other hand, I was reading some history books, and realized that when our ancestors got on the boat to come to the US....they never, ever saw their family left behind again!!! As settlers went west, they too, often buried loved ones in unmarked graves on the prairie.

Difficulty has always been with us, as has lonlieness, as has compassion, as has greed.

I agree, that greed, or the advertising industry has made it seem like, we all 'need a house in Palm Beach, a villa in St. Barts etc" or that we should see a Lexus parked in the driveway as a surprise. Give me a break!!!

I know my mother and father's generation stayed in the same city and I grew up surrounded by cousins that felt more like sisters and brothers.

My generation moved more around the state and the general area, hard enough to get together in the large, humongous groups we had a kid.

My kids have gone all over the darn country and think the airlines are like jumping in the car for a drive...except it costs more and takes more time....I think they are seeing it isn't as easy as they expected it to be. These kids will do pretty much anything to make sure we are included, so I thank my lucky stars. But life is tough.

One child, my son, seems to not want to leave the area, to stay close to us and to his new in-laws, so his kids have the benefit of a grandpa and grandma. He is like a clone of my husband and his bride to be, very much like me! And I worry what we have left behind for them. They have such good values and live in such a messed up world....but they warm my heart.

I would say things changed about 12-15 years ago....

I grew up in a typical post war neighborhood where you could hear the kids getting yelled at and the family fights!! That was just normal....I can't imagine that happening in our perfect subdivisions now. I was whacked by a nun a few times....and I do not think I am worse off for it. When I watch that movie about the kid who wants the BB gun....that was how I grew up And remember when Savings and Loans were like on a Wonderful Life??

Life has changed, and honestly, I sound like my mom and grandma too much...they said the same thing. We have made a technological leap now though, unprecedented in times before....it seems to have changed how people relate, me included.

I need to get and give more hugs and not just during the holidays. So to those whom I can not reach out and touch, this is for you.

Oh and 'ET'---phone home.