No real advice for you except to say that in regards to children, most women with epilepsy have perfectly normal and healthy babies-- even on medication, and the descion on whether or not to breastfeed depends on many factors. There are also many things one can do to lesson the chance and risks of a baby being injured or hurt when a caregiver has epilepsy. I am the Godmother to a silly, funny 19 mo old boy with special needs and have been caring for him since he was very young. The precautions I take are fairly simple : having a "safe" place to put the baby if you feel seizurey or just "off"-- when E was younger theese things were a car seat, swing, bouncer etc. Now that he is a toddler it is bit more complicated, but usually just involves baby proofing a specific area of the room or having a pack N play set up. Some other safety things include holding the baby while sitting if you feel uncomfortable holding/walking around with him/her. The only real "rules" my neurologist has for me is that I have to change him on the floor--vs a table; and no bathing the baby alone. A soloution to that is taking the baby in a carrier or secure seat with you into the shower with you. Theese things just greatly lower the risk of having the baby get hurt should I (or anyone) have a seizure. I *think* I was the one who was more worried about taking care of him alone than his parents, lol. But, I soon became comfortable with it-- especially with precautions in place. The most nerwracking thing with taking care of him now is was working his feeding tube and pump when he first got it; and now figuring out the ins and outs of new tubes and pumps and the various alarms, lol.
My DH and I are currently trying for a baby --- I am on multiple meds, with frequent seizures, and we both extremely excited.
Med wise--- I hope you are able to get back on your medication soon and are able to find a neurologist to help you. One thing you might consider is looking into the patient assistance programs that many drug manufactures have for people who need financial assistance for meds and, as far as doctors go, you might try calling your local epilepsy affilaite and see what they suggest.
Good Luck and hang in there !
L2L