Maybe you need to talk with a lawyer or check some legal type websites - as executor she must do the correct thing.
But if no one is watching over her shoulder ....

But I wouldn't tell anyone { lawyers or anyone really} about any amount of money that you might be in line for. Lots of people will be a friend or say they can help just to get a piece of the pie.

Just say you want to know if you have any legal rights to find out what is in his will.
Just in case he left you something since you had been married for X amount of years previously.

and maybe ask" how do they know an executor is following the directive of the will?" who oversees that?"

There has to be some sort of way to check on this and there has to be some way to make sure the will is being handled correctly.

do you know the names of any lawyer he might have used??
you could call the offices and ask if they handled legal affairs for him?
Especially if in a smaller city or town...

I thought {in the movies anyway} they usually have all the family and do a reading of the will - but maybe that is just in the movies...