Hi,
I am happy that your pain meds are working. I too had a c-spine 2 level fusion with plate and screws and lumbar surgery. I know what you are going through as far as physical pain.

Is there any way you could get your wife to go to a p-doc? Maybe you could go with her for moral support.
Sounds like she really needs a mood stablizer like Lamictal.
Finding out you are BP isn't easy, but once your medication kicks in, you come to terms with it, and feel better, and realize why did I wait so long, or why didn't other Dr's see this. That is only my story. They always had me diagnosed as severe clinical depression and only giving me AD"s which is also true.

Since she denies BP, maybe you could suggest going for depression or anxiety to get her there, that usually goes along with BP in some cases.

Wishing you luck. Keep posting, it's theraputic for you.

Nikko