That's hard to say... except that you should probably be patient and do what you can to gently help her with organizing her day/week. However, if she is not open to this type of help, it would not be beneficial. In addition, you can be of assistance, but she will have to be willing to put forth effort to improve herself. IMHO, people with special needs can use help and will benefit from that help, but if they don't make their own personal efforts, not much will happen.

If your wife is angry or depressed because of her ADHD or because of something else, she should seek the advice of a medical doctor. A DX of ADHD should be confirmed. (At times folks can have ADHD along with something else and different medication is needed). It's very possible that medication might be of assistance. I'm not sure, but I think some folks actually benefit both with their attention span and a little bit with depression when they get on ADD medication. Your wife might also consider therapy...especially if she can find a therapist with some experience working with someone with ADD. Another thing your wife might ask the Dr. about is her Thyroid level. Sometimes women around that age begin to have issues in that area and it can cause moodiness.

There are some books that you might try reading on the topic. My local library has a lot of them. You can do a search with the word "ADD" in it and see if there is a book specific to spouses. Sometimes just facing the topic makes a huge difference. I really like this book called ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life...but my guess is that there are books better suited for your needs.

If all else fails, family therapy can work wonders. This is nothing to worry about. Seeing a family therapist does not mean a marriage is in trouble. A good marriage counselor can help couples help each other. Help a partner realize what he or she is doing wrong and help the other partner provide assistance for the one who needs building up. Sometime in the future... the roles could be reversed. It is part of being in a relationship.