well, one night i found my old logs, fished out the most recent (yes, i made various attempts at re-starting, after release from the clinic (end 2003). so i had a log with all current meds in it and then some. ok, so then i cleared the data parts. period.
Mari, i actually did consider your suggestion, with great relief
, of logging at least meds/moods/SOMETHING here... since at first i couldn't get my excel butt in gear...
but the next night i started fiddling with the columns to hide the old meds, and also filling in recent-ish sx as best i could remember before i forgot. it looked like a mess with data here and there and i was frustrated and confused but at least i got something in there.
after your last post Mari,
last night i finally logged a full line, including the X's on my sleepmap.
I also *BONUS* split out stuff like alcohol separate from the "other" column. And split illnesses (esp. for neurological (esp migrainous) events for Neuro on Jan 22), which i was stuffing in with mood sx. it makes no difference to how much i have to type because these were not new things. just i have to hit tab in between, lol.
today i haven't taken or logged morning meds yet... it is a
continuing struggle to
continue lol and make it a habit. that is why so many "false starts" in recent years. so now, i need to keep going...
also i need replicate the form for Jan, so i can fill in the "(self-)prescribed taper" - so i know when to do what. SIGH.
THIS USED TO BE SO SIMPLE... will be when it is "in place" ... ARGHHH this is so HARD right now. maybe because EVERYTHING is hard right now.
i am subscribed to this thread, so i get a kick in the rump/email for every post lol.
Current mood status is safe.
Have had days where a little hypo and labile, but ok now. i think.
Had crying days consistent tho with PMS, holiday desperation this year. i have a huge box full of wrapping/boxing/trimming/everything to wrap things in, and no presents to wrap this year. i bought all that stuff when i was manic. including stuff that i don't know where it is now, but i bought so much it would be like repeat presents lol... so. nothing. so, guilt.
but i'm OK, now. better in fact, after Christmas.
Even though Neurontin per se is not a good stabilizer, SLEEP is a good stabilizer, and i have found that my tolerance for Neurontin sleepwise did not overcome the 900 dose, so it still doubles as a sleep aid, even tho it is doing less for my shoulder (still no more shooting pain down the arm/face though). Funnily, i can take a full 600mg dose during the daytime and it doesn't even phase me. ( i take 15-1800 mg. )
I started having gradually more caffeine on purpose, because in about 4 days i expect activation from suspension of a self-med - so then i can drink less coffee and balance it. i know, sounds crazy but...
Today will be my first day at 100mg zoloft.
... keep throwing me a boot every now and then
~ waves ~ loggin' ... loggin' ... loggin' down the river