The party went great for all. But I had a miserable time. Only because I not only felt awful, sounded awful. But had no clue what the heck I was doing half the time. I swear I've never been so out of the fish bowl so to speak.

I had no clue who I was talking to half the time, or what I was saying, it just came out wrong. Thankfully most of the time, people just assumed I was mixing my words up.

My granddaughter who is 7 Deana, was sick she looked worse than me is all I can say. Had no clue she was sick. But she has medicine now. And thanks to her and her mom I made a trip back to ER last night when we returned home.

Her mom drove my car. And bless their souls. We got there about 10:45pm would have been out and back on the road by 12:00 if it hadn't been for a chest emergency and something else that came in while we were being gotten ready to take back. Of course those took first shot. Which neither
of us would not want.

So that would have been say 12:15, not the usual for our other ER 4 or 5 hours. But I was having so much trouble they weren't sure if they were
going to release me, give me more treatments then decide or what.

The Intern like that was handling our cases had her finished, and they were starved, but didn't want to leave till they at least knew if I was staying or leaving. So they waited till 1:30 with me till he came in. Heard the wheezing and coughing, as he thought he was releasing me. Decided he needed a second opinion after a lengthy conversation of maybe 15minutes
about my whole life history of this cough, crouph, bronchitus and asthma.

So the ER attending comes in talks a few minutes, tells me they have decided that they will do a load of steroids, magnesium, another breathing
treatment or 2. I believe the respirtory therapist got to busy to return to see about a third, which was okay we didn't need to wait another 30 minutes.

Anyway, I said any idea how long before you know if I'm leaving or your admitting, he said, its still a call after we will see how you are. But it will
be a while. By now I've learned that is at least one hour. So I told
Sabrina, to hand me my purse, got out the $8.00 I had left told her to
go get Deana's prescription, and go to Steak and Shake and get them
something with that money.

I already knew they had no money, she lives on SSI, and we neither one
thought to ask Devin to loan me a $20 dollar bill. I had given my last
one to my husband, thinking on the way to kokomo I would get him to stop
in our little town and I'd walk in and get a pop for all of us and case a small
amount of extra money.

He decided he didn't want to do that, he wanted to get my $20.00 of gas
on the way home from Kokomo. So my chance for extra money was gone.

And he said something that made me mad on my getting ready to go get them. We had taken my grandson, who is 6 to the party, and he made the statement that since the gameboy that his mother insisted on him taking, was missing and it was left in the car. He would never take him again.

It just made me so mad, on my way out the door, I made the statement,
that I take Ethan all the time, but I never take him in such a hurry I don't
allow them to find his bookbag that it goes in. And I don't make them rush
him when they have already said he isn't going.

To top it off, the reason they weren't going pretty much was his mom had
two teeth pulled I'm guessing yesterday because she didn't have $1000.00
dollars to get them fixed.

She has no insurance, and they aren't married. And with Danny's bills from
his hospital stay she wouldn't have asked for his help this time.

He said, I told her next time to ask me if she needs the money I'll find a way to help. I said to him, her own parents refuse to provide help.

And one of them owes her a car for her graduation, look how many he has promised and taken away and given to her sister. Now he has even bought her sister a house, by puttng the down payment down.

I don't think she is going to ask for help when he isn't willing to keep promises made on small things that are owed. And besides she has asked for help on things and he wanted so much interest, she came over here and requested a loan with a better interest rate, and you loaned it for free.

So what does that tell you. Her mother and step dad help them, but they might not have had that much money to loan right then.

I reminded him that I've even offered to pay for their wedding when they
set the date. In a place that people can attend, because her dad wont unless Danny converts to catholic and they marry in a catholic church.
And he said, something about that, And I said, I don't care where they
get married I just want to be there, and see them have a nice wedding.

There first and I'm pretty sure last. They have been together for 8 years I believe. She is a lot of the reason my son has grown up to the man he is.

And I don't mind admitting that she is his better half. He does too.

But my husband thinks he has done this work, Heehee, till they don't do things the way he thinks they should. Then its someone elses fault.

Which of course is normal. So life is normal at my house.

And you think I just wrote a book here, I came home, cant sleep so I wrote 20 pages in my notebook, because I couldn't find what I needed at the hospital and continued about life in general. And did that feel good, YEp.


Thanks for listening. You guys are the best therapist I have so far.
But just as soon as I have some free time, I plan on finding one.

I just don't have the time right now. I have to find out what is wrong
with me and fix it. I could care less if I fix my marriage, its not broke
by me. And its not my fault.


He is the one with the problems. And if he wants it to work, he can figure out what his problem is. He apologized gave me a big hug. And I am
not even sure what it was for. Other than he told me he didnt' get any sleep till I came home last night. So its definately he is scared and he takes
his scared out on the one thing that doesn't go away.

Me, see this first started on the divorce thing, because his mother had
disowned him for marrying me. Then a few years later, he wanted to
know why she was taking my side one our fight about how to raise the
kids.


I just kind of stick to things and don't go away. But if he doesn't want
me around he knows were the door is. And I know how to go out it.
But he has another thought coming if he thinks Derrick is staying with
him. Derrick has made it clear.

Donna