Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsd
Well, I sure do appreciate your comments Kimmy.
I feel things very deeply,
but have huge problems expressing them in words. I see you understand that,
but many people do not. So I appreciate your "gift" to me this morning!
I agree with you about the pacifier. My son was a preemie and in the preemie nursery for
15 days. They had to feed him every 10 minutes because he vomited large quantities of food.
So as they lengthened his feeding times slowly to get him ready to come home, he
fussed alot. Hence the pacifier. They rolled a towel into a tube and taped the nipple to it.
And they didn't give it to me to take home. How was I to know (recovering from Csection)
that only one SHAPED nipple he would accept?
I sent my husband out to several stores and he bought one of every style until we found
the "correct" one. So I gave it to him now and then, like at the doctor's office etc.
It worked wonders. Then when he was about 3 mons old, he just spit it out...wouldn't accept it
anymore. And that was it. No clinging to it as a crutch or anything. It worked out really well.
He was so small, I figured....anything YOU want, baby, you get! We had gone thru almost dying
together, and I was not going to deny him anything. (or myself either for that matter). So share
this with your daughter.
Also the doctors told me that every infant has its own weakness. Some have immature nervous systems, and some
have problems with feeding. It varies and just is. My son never gobbled his formula (I couldn't breastfeed
because I was on 3 blood pressure drugs).. but he tended to spit up--reflux. So I just slowed him down
and made the feeding times longer slower.
P.S. I think babies gobble at the feeding if you wait til they are really hungry and screaming. If you watch the
preceeding behaviors, before the BIG demand, you catch the appetite, before they get tense and frantic,
and the gobbling and heavy sucking is less. It also has the payoff of him learning that Mom is there anyway
and you don't have to scream to get her attention. I always thought my son was a reasonable baby, but I
think I trained him to be that, now that I look back on it. Alot of intense baby behavior is fear/anxiety etc.
Teaching a baby to calm himself is a big task, and one we should pay attention to early. Then you can
have more enjoyment, and less reaction to screaming which is very tiring I think!
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Thank you so much for sharing that! The situations sound very similar. He's spitting too, etc.
My oldest? She's an AMAZING young woman. A young woman that sees a goal, maps it out and sticks to her route. That's gotten her far in her life, with little to no "road blocks" (drugs, behavior problems, etc.). Her husband is the same. The thing with that, though, is that with a baby, especially then maybe, we can't control or predict another's needs well. It usually DOESN'T go according to plan. She will still do anything and almost everything to stick to her route.
She refuses to offer a pacifier. It was a HUGE leap to make the decision to pump and bottle-feed, so I consider that massive progress.
Even my aunt who nursed six babies exclusively and taught breast-feeding classes at our local, very large hospital, couldn't sway her on a couple of issues.
In all this, she's done so wonderfully. She's realized that he needs a bit more right now and is giving him that in that he needs to be held close alot of the time, etc. She's truly a wonderful mother.
I will share with her what you've said.
Thank you for acknowledging my "gift". It makes me feel good because you give so many gifts.
Here's another one for you...
I remember when I first came here, you were one of the first (if not the first) to extend your hand to me. I've carried that with me a long time, as well as your words. You reached out to me to welcome me, but also to offer aid in any form that you could.
Being new and having no history, I couldn't see the massive gift in what you offered to me then that I see today...and continue to see on and off. Even then you were kind to me, offering assistance and you didn't even know me! That rings out loud and clear, and you've consistently maintained that position. Some people give and take (which is wonderful and appropriate). You give to give and your take seems to be the comfort that you've given. Truly a continual act straight from the heart and soul.
I think you are an amazing person and am glad to have you touch my life.
KD