Dear karolina,

I only just noticed your post today. You have my commiserations. More than that, I identify with everything that you are feeling.

My girlfriend died on October 27 following surgery that I urged her to get that was not supposed to be life-threatening.

I won't go into it, but there are so may of my decisions that I question. Would the outcome have been different if I had chosen/not chosen to do this or that? I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt that I realize cognitively is not justified but that knowledge doesn't help emotionally.

Nothing will help but the passage of time. Lean on everyone around you who can give you help.

It will get better. I know that, and that is what everyone tells me. I believe it, but that doesn't make anything better now.