Love you dear. I am sorry the coroner hasn't been able to come to a conclusion yet. I am glad he is being thurough and searching for the answer.

But yes, sometimes, the answer is not going to come. I hope for one, though.

Guilt and fear a major players in grief. The trick is going to be finding their place on your road to healing. One thing at a time. Let yourself feel these powerful emotions and give them a home in your heart and in your head, then move to the next emotion/hurdle. This process is going to be consuming, long and painful.

But there will also be days where your love for Juan is more powerful. So much so, you will be able to feel him. And there is much joy and comfort in that feeling.

Stay with us. Let us hear you.

I am right here.