I just don't understand people sometimes and I'm finding this one so hard. I met someone in September of 2003 at a forum for people with back problems. She lives in Tasmania, Australia and we hit it off right away. We spent many many hours on IM talking at odd hours because she lives in Australia and there's a 14 hr time difference. She has problems with her DH and family and I even called her last year on Christmas Eve and it cost me $95 for 15 minutes. We had dreams of meeting one day. I was going to visit her in Australia and we were going to the Outback, the Great Barrier Reef and to the Sydney Opera House. And I was going to get to see a real tasmanian devil. She was going to come here and we were going to "go to the snow" like she says it. We were going to Colorado and sit in the ski lodge and drink hot drinks.

But I noticed she's been distancing herself since before Christmas. I finally got the nerve to write and ask if everything was okay between us. It took 2 weeks but she finally replied last night and said she was too busy and had no time to keep this friendship going. I tried to email her back and through someone else I found out she deleted me as a contact. Just like that, throw out 4 years like yesterdays trash.

I called Ada, Dreambeliever, last night and we talked about it but it still hurts. You have no idea how many ecards we sent each other, how we talked and talked about problems and how we just acted silly sometimes on IM with our virtual vacations. I never in my wildest dreams could believe that she would just push me away and delete me no less. Instinctively, as soon as I powered up my computer this morning, or last night, they tend to run together, I went to IM to see if she's there. But she'll never be there because I've been deleted. I tried to delete her from IM since I know she's deleted me but I can't get my fingers to push that button. Friends don't do this sort of thing but I guess I'm not her friend anymore and I have no idea what I've done to her.

Ada thanks so much for listening to my blubbering last night. It was nice chatting with you and I hope we can do it again soon.