Thank you.....I get what you are saying, but each day that passes I feel more and more as if I fade more and more into nothingness. I have tried speaking to both my sons and husband in the last hour and one just looked at me with that go away look, one came in from work and walked past me and snapped his fingers as he went by to talk to his dad and hubby did that shush I am watching Tv when I tried to tell him something important. Both DIL's said less then 5 words today and it was in response to something I said then I was dismissed. One of them left a 3 y/o for me to babysit without telling me he was here (was supposed to be in daycare today and I asked her to never do that again since I had no idea he was here and I could have easily left him here alone) and the other informed me she wanted the loveseat out of my living room in her room and I just told her I would consider it and walked away. If not for my dog I would get in my car and drive until it would go no further. I do believe in God but I always keep my feelings and beliefs on that subject in my head as I do not ever discuss certain things anywhere.
I don't know if I can learn how to trust again, and I know if I don't get my walls down around my heart I will end up a lonely cold btter old woman and that scares the hell out of me!
My home has been turned upside down no less then 10 times in the last 2 years, I feel it should be called the heartbreak hotel. I am so tired and all used up!