CAN’T SEEM
Can’t seem to make this day end
Or, has it been a year already
Not sure if this is real or pretend
Mind unclear, hands unsteady
Can’t seem to get back to the ME
My mind & my eyes play tricks
So hard to explain, nothing to see
& Doctor’s say “there is no fix”
Cant’ seem to pray me well again
I Pray everyday, make my wish
Take it one day at a time, I begin
In my silent lucidity of anguish
I try to fit in with the civilization
Reflect on that I accomplished
Love, memories & determination
Can’t seem to recollect the present
Grateful for all my old memories
Pull them out for supportive intent
Get me through these adversities
Can’t seem to conceive these effects
I and they know I’m now changed
They feel ashamed, but show respect
Even I realize, that I am estranged
Can’t seem to desire all of this away
Trying so hard to grasp my spirit
I get this particular feeling everyday
Deal with character that I inherit
Accept that which I cannot control
Pray or cry when I feel desperate
Turn to love and friends to console
Can’t seem to get past any of this
Seems like forever, my past life
I carry on for your touch and kiss
My conditions origin you strife
Can’t seem to forgive myself now
The anguish & fear I caused you
But, we’re still together somehow
I am obliged for all that you do
Tricia 10/4/06