((((((Hope)))))),
I remember you
!!
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time
I remember depression. Spent most of my life in and out of it. Matter of fact I just, two months ago, got out of a 6-month long bit of it.
I know what it's like to feel afloat and have no idea what you're gonna be doing and how you're gonna be taking care of yourself. And, I'll just bet that work was a very big part of your identity -- that's part of the reason why you're feeling half-flushed
Are you seeing a therapist?? Or, do you have a primary care physician that can prescribe meds for you?? A big part of depression is chemical imbalance. I'll be glad when they can figure out a BETTER and a FASTER way of resolving this. Right now, we have drugs and we should use them when we need to.
You know, Hope, I believe that The Universe guides our steps where we need to go next. If you spent the last year of that job in an emotionally rough, bad environment, you weren't paying attention to the subtle cues that The Universe was giving you. The Universe speaks softly to us, UNLESS we don't listen, then it whacks us upside the head. You're experiencing a major head whack right now. You spent a YEAR in an emotionally rough work environment
Why??
You know, Hope, we're not meant to live in fear and in toxic relationships (whether work or home or family). We're not meant to be miserable and unhappy and depressed all the time.
The New Year -->> this a perfect time to redefine where you want to go and what you want to be doing with your life. I've been telling everybody about Mondo Beyond because it's such an simple concept, yet, it's so amazing.
You start the New Year by recognizing what you accomplished last year, by acknowledging what you regret about last year, AND you forgive yourself. Then comes the Mondo Beyondo part. Where do you want to go?? What do you want to be??
Read about it here:
Mondo Beyondo!!
Make sure to read the comments too. Also, follow through the years of her journal (the part above was written in late 2004, early 2005). Go through the years that follow that (especially the months of November, December, January) -- up to and including now.
You'll see. You don't have to start the year by forcing yourself into a place where YOU DO NOT BELONG. You want to start the year by recognizing what your SOUL is saying to you.
This is a perfect time for you to be doing this. You're gonna start a new year on a totally different -- totally better footing.
It's a whole attitude shift. A realization in your soul about what you are ENTITLED TO. And a determination in your heart that you're going to give yourself that life.
You don't need to be criticizing yourself for decisions that you made in the past. Those decisions were based on a whole different mind-set. They were based on an entirely different set of life experiences.
Now that you've experienced two years of a type of a life that you do not want -- it's time to shake off the dust, pick yourself up and grab life with both hands and turn it into WHAT YOU *DO* WANT.
Put on some happy music, grab a pen and a GORGEOUS journal and recognize and acknowledge last year and then close that year. On a new page, start the new year -- with joy in your heart and with optimism.
I've been looking on Etsy for a new journal. Haven't decided yet between:
#1
#2 or
#3
I think #3 has got my name on it
But, I want to take one more look at
what they have before I decide.
We've got a big blizzard coming tomorrow, so I probably won't be ordering my special book until Tuesday.
This is my first year of Mondo Beyondo. I quit working 6-1/2 years ago. Sort of a combination of I-had-no-other choice and my-back-gave-out. I've spent the last 6-1/2 years trying to figure what I'm going to do with my life and where I fit. My work WAS my life. I know -- I **BAD**. But, I didn't know any better. Now I **DO**. I've been wanting something that was going to help me to do that major attitude adjustment that I needed to do in order to live the next part of my life. I feel like Mondo Beyondo is the perfect tool for that
I want BETTER. I want EVERYTHING. I don't want to continue to live in ways that are going to keep sending me into downward spirals of depression.
Hope, I hope you take advantage of this opportunity that's presented to you by The Universe. It's not a horrible thing. It's a gift. A chance to start over. We all deserve more chances.
BIG HUGS.
Barb
