Amanda its cool that your kids dont realised that their brother is different yet,but they will and this is not a bad thing, its just growing up.

I have 5 kids. Breezsha the second eldest noticed Hazel wasnt like other peoples 'big sister' when she was 9 years old. Reuben figured it out at age nine too. I think age 9 is a development age of understanding social things better. Alice is eight, and while she has been told Hazel is autistic she really doesnt understand, but will soon. And of course Melee at age 2 has no idea.

Today Alice and Hazel were playing outside. Hazel plays like a 9 year old, pretend games etc. They are not really pretend games actually as that woudl infer that she was modelling or copying someone elses behaviour. Its half pretend play and half stimming actually. Anyway Alice loves these games and they can spend hours outside in the trees building huts. Hazel makes a cool big sister for ages.

Today Breezsha was helping me clean up the kitchen. Hazel and Alice were outside. Hazel was standing on the platform on top of our junglegym - I dont know what you might call them - a play structure Its about 6 feet high. Hazel was wearing a skirt and high heels an attrocious floral summer hat which she had tied to her head with a knitted winter scarf. She was standing in this play gym with a large tree branch pointing to the sky. Alice was underneath the gym (being a fireman I believe) and I nudged Breezsha and said look at that - not often 15 year old girls get a big sister like that and we chuckled. Not in an unpleasant way - but by cripes Hazel can be a fruitcake somedays.

Breezsha is so much more tolerant and accepting and able to cope with others and odd people in our world because of Hazel. And your non autistic kids will be compassionate and caring and will 'get' others when their same aged peers wont know how to interact with special needs people.