Daniella:

I'm very proud of you for being accountable for your eating disorder. Takes a lot of guts. I only wish my friend Elaine (who died in September), had faced up to hers. She had been anorexic since the age of 15. Been hospitalized, given meds. Nothing worked. She would not go over 100 lbs. It was like a (I can't figure out what the word is), but she would not go over 100 lbs. She would ask me (while she was driving me to the produce store (get that, she actually drove me and didn't think she was the chauffeur, LOL ). She once asked me "Melody, how many calories are in a leaf of lettuce". I responded. "We are not having this conversation". Then she found a way to get me to take her to the store that sells the herbal tea that makes you lose weight. It's a kind of laxative tea. I never knew she was using this to lose weight. I believed her when she said she needed it to go the bathroom. Oh the stuff I found out later on.

She developed Emphysema and later, lung cancer (smoked till she was 51). The doctor sat her down and told her "you have to eat healthy, if you are to beat this. We all sat her down and told her the same thing. I probably should have taken her to the local mortuary and shown her the coffin and said "listen, if you don't get help and soon, you will wind up in this thing sooner than any of us have to". I will always wonder if I should have done this.

But none of us did. We just spoke to her, listened to her and watched her NOT EAT HERSELF TO DEATH. She wouldn't even do the Ensure thing.

All the chemo, and radiation were to avail because her body lacked sufficient nutrients. I was with her 83 year old mother as she watched her daughter slip away. Very painful for everybody concerned.

But it's not called an eating disorder for the fun of it, now is it?? It's a real thing and I give you tremendous amount of respect for doing whatever you are doing about it.

And if you lose friends along the way (and you probably will), well, it's THEIR problem now isn't it??

And I absolutely loved your remark about one sided friendships being what a therapist is. I never thought of it that way. That is such a cool description.

So you keep it up, you're doing great.

One day at a time.

Melody