Isabelle, he'll be off the risperdal soon enough (finally). Eating more frequently isn't a bad idea at all. I think they do feed him a lot at school, he gets at least 2 snacks plus lunch. I send these packaged oats for snacks and some other stuff that is pretty good for ya.

Keg, I don't think I need a therapist as much as I need to see examples of how to manage a spirited kid. I need an old woman from the south that raised 7 boys to whip me into shape, so I can whip him into shape. Having no ma or sisters or cousins or whatnot to raise kids with or talk to about it, having no on else involved in your household to butt in once in a while and get me to thinking...it's not the best way to find better ways to parent. Plus, I tend to think he and I are so so alike, and although we are in some ways, we couldn't be more opposite in others. It's going to be a shock for some time, that I have been running myself ragged for a child who consciencely KNEW what he should and should not do and consciencely DID NOT CARE what I wanted. I thought it was impulse issues, blah blah blah.

Plus, I have to admit seeing my darling dog so sick...I have to carry her everywhere. Poop just falls out. She's emaciated now. I feed her constantly and chicken and beef - not even dog food, and still she loses weight. I'd have put her down already, but her CBC showed all her organs are functioning just fine, and her xray showed something in the discs of her spine that is inflamed...she's on antibiotics. If she has an infection in her spine as they think, I want to give her every chance. I'll know in 6 days, when we try the last med. This one isn't working. Also, she's holding down her pain med thank God. So, it's sort of a combination of things...mind you as much as I'll grieve missing my dog when the time comes, seeing her like this is what's killing me.

And don't worry, I do think I'm cool...I'm always willing and open to try to learn, and improve and develop as a parent, wife, person. I think that's cool. Also, I don't have a mean bone in my body unless my feelings get real hurt or I have pms. I lack feelings of competence, yes, that goes along with the aspergers territory. But I do think I'm a good person even if a lot of my actions are butt backwards. I'd just like to have a good old fashioned 'big mama' in my life, to help me raise my kids by helping me get my feet more firmly planted. It's great to want to learn and improve, but I don't want to be flighty either. Ya know? Mostly, I feel like I want a practice run with Vince, so I can rewind and raise him again with hindsight...but who doesn't.