Welcome Lisap,
I can't even try to imagine the heartbreak of something like that.

We have some forums that may be of help to you.

Coping with Grief & Loss
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum51.html

Sanctuary for Spiritual Support
This "Sanctuary" is a place for people of all spiritual beliefs and faiths to offer support and compassion to each other in the form of prayers, meditation, and expressions of spirituality. This forum is for support, not religious debate.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum27.html