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*Trigger-sensitive, beware...I don't like that 'X' icon so I won't use it.
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I'm currently looking for other health ins. that's way less per month than what I'm paying now, that has low deductibles and reasonable co-pays. I've trimmed everything else as closely as humanly possible (moved back in with parents to eschew rent & utilities), yet there's still student loan (which I'm about to do something to put it on hold), two credit cards--$96 and $58 respectively(I used to be good about them, but only been able to do the min. for over a year now), health ins.--$280, storage building rent for my household--$70, car payment--$270...not counting little stuff like lunch money, gas for the car, and routine car maint. and meds.

Substitute teachers only get paid for the days they work, and though I'm trying to get more days from other counties and other schools, I still only get paid once a month. I'm looking for other work that's full-time, but in the meantime I'm running out of options and feel like I'm being cornered. It is distressing. What savings is available is only about $100, which won't go far. Savings which isn't available is locked-up in a CD and a roth-IRA. I'm thinking seriously about breaking the IRA this week to tide me over until I get regular work. I'll get slapped for breaking it early, but I think it's the only way to keep from drowning. I've been swimming in the deep end for two years, treading water for the past year, and my arms are tiring out faster than I ever thought possible.

I want to go back to school, but doubt seriously I'll have any funds for anything until I can manage to knock down the bills. *ROFLMAO!!* Like that's gonna happen in the near future!! *sigh* And if I'm studying full-time, how in h#ll can I manage a full-time job? I don't do well with little sleep, and can't hack the college-age schedule anymore. And should I even go into teaching anyway?!? It's a majorly stressful career, even if it's a more manageable stress than theatre work.

Know what I really want to do in life? Skip-out totally on the 20th/21st Century and step back to an 18th Century farm-life. Much simpler, back to absolute basics, no modern-day rush. Just live by the seasons and deal with the day-to-day chores of gardening, tending livestock enough for a one-family farm, cooking, creating things to be cooked or preserved for later, and household chores. I'd never be bored, there'd be no TV, no phone, no electricity...of course, I would keep in some contact with the outside, modern world, but for the most part live apart from it. Think the Amish would accept me?

--RW