Lori, I do feel better today, thanks.
I couldn't get back here until now, due to my melt down turning into a big phsycotic blow-up! Started screaming in hysterics...can't remember what words I was screaming, ran into another room and sobed and sobed! I lost it competely and packed my bags left the house at night. I normally, even before the pcs, have night blindness and certainly can't drive a carwith my pcs, so this was a dumb but desperate thing to do! . This was a big deal...went down the road a couple miles realized I could not put anyone elses life in danger, so went and visited my Son at work until late night, he is only about 3 miles away from where I live. Later called hubby and told him I would be back home.

What a night. I just wanted peace. Had cried all day long over everything, thought washing machine was broken..full of water so would not add more. I did not see the water...big time confused! Got upset over some shelves we bought and hubby was complaining about them. I asked him not to put them up right then...told him I was upset and losing it...he insisted...wrong thing to do...it was the last straw....that was what caused all the screaming and big big overload.

Today we are OK, each walking on eggs. He took me to the Mall along with my handicap scooter. We ate at a resturante there together, he left me and went off down the street to some other stores. I was alone...totally on my own with no keeper and no one rushing me or telling me what to do. Oh what a glorious day. I actually got out of the house and saw people and things and felt so much more normal. Bought new glasses, a pair pj's & a sweater and they were on sale! Glasses were the type frames I wanted and old lenes were scratched badly.

The greatest thing of all, was My hubby was sitting beside a man on a bench in the mall. The man had brain damage when he was in his twenties and is now in fifties. Still suffers with pcs type issues...he understood my situation. I actually got to talk in person with someone that said "I know and I understand what you are going through"! WOW, what a moment what a wonderful thing to get to talk to this man. I left the Mall thinking that there is a chance that I will make it...missing some of my abilities, but still I will make it. I am not going to lose my mind...just lost some of my brain!

Also last night my Son said hubby cares but son doesn't think hubby can understand what is wrong. Says his daddy is worried about me. Sure could have fooled me...he comes across like he is always mad at me. so I have to start finding a way for us communicate?

Lucy, I am sorry you and Lori are having melt downs too! I am very sure I need some kind of pill to chill me out. Due to my pain levels and pain flares, inability to walk very far or get about very well, I have been on antidepressants off and on for years. Guess it is time to get back on again. Sometimes I wish I could lay down like "Rip Van Winkle" and fall asleep and wake up when it is all over. Ha, at my age I don't have that much time! LOL Goodness. I just laughed...hmmmmm that felt good!