Lara thank you for supplying the suicide support sites.

nohope (wish I could call you something else) look in your local newspaper or call a hospital or mental health center. That's often where the meetings take place...usually once a month. Some offer grief support groups which is better than no group at all, but suicide is such a complex mix of our emotions...try to hold out for that. They are called S.O.S...survivors of suicide which is what we are...the aftermath of our loved ones actions...those left behind. And the wonderful thing about them is that they know exactly how you are feeling without you saying a word. They have all lived this nightmare.

Also some offer a newsletter with very helpful articles and suggestions of books that will help. (I'm not clear if your husband killed himself in Oct or two years ago) If it was last Oct. you probably can't concentrate well enough to read yet. That whole first year was a blurr for me.

Our Michael was not an alcoholic but he did abuse the heck out of it on occasion...self medicating I would guess. He was a big, healthy, intelligent 32 yr. old with everything to live for....engaged, had a son who adored him....~sigh

I have struggled so hard to forgive and accept. You have a long journey ahead of you... please be very kind to yourself., we are here for you.