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Old 01-22-2008, 10:45 PM
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PunkDizzle PunkDizzle is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Mistake On The Lake, PA
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15 yr Member
PunkDizzle PunkDizzle is offline
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PunkDizzle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Mistake On The Lake, PA
Posts: 181
15 yr Member
Default not sure what to do to help father...

My father has been dealing with Alzheimer's for a few years now.. but it really only started to become very noticeable in the last year..
seems that in that time he went from being "Dad" to "who is this guy!"

please keep in mind i am just calling it as i see it and not trying to bash my father i love him very much but i have to tell it in words i understand not medical jibberish..


his memory is horrific.. he will ask the same question over and over which i will answer over and over until i leave.. he can not retain anything short term.. becomes a big problem when he can't even remember who he just got off the phone with or what he did 2 min ago..


his long term memory is also failing.. he gets lost on roads he has traveled all his life... the roads he drives daily or once a week ( how to get to the grocery store or church) he still remembers..

this past summer i happed to run into him at the grocery store and walked up and said "hey dad hows it going?" he turned over to look at me with the most confused stare i have ever seen on his face.. almost like the gears wanted to turn but had to wait a little bit for the wrench to fall out.. took him a good 30 sec to realize it was me.. (this would seem normal if i was someone he had not seen in years.. because it happens to me now and then when an old school buddy i have not seen in 10yrs says hey and i am like "who are you?" lol... but i visit my parents at least 3 times a week.. so he sees me lots)


his decision making has gone down the pooper.. simple little things like "do you want juice or milk to drink?" can turn into a 1hr nightmare for both him and myself or my mother while he tries to decide..we try to be patient with him and give him time to decide.. but then he will forget what we offered him to drink a number of times we tell him again what his options are and again he cant decide.. then forgets.. (vicious circle) usually we just give up and hand him what we think he will like.. he never argues about it because he forgets we asked him anything..


i am not sure about this one.. or what would cause it but the other day i got a call from my mother asking me to come over.. my dad went out to change the fuel filter on the tractor they use to plow their driveway.. apparently he got out there in the freezing cold and forgot how to change the filter so instead of coming in he just stood there looking at it for 1/2 hour.. by the time i got there he was chilled to the bone.. so i had to talk him into going into the house to warm up.. while i changed the filter.. this is a very simple task as it is just 2 hose clamps you unscrew and pop out the old one put the new one in and tighten it back up.. something he has done for years but that memory is gone i guess.. he really wanted to fight me on going in the house .. i know he did not want to give up trying to figure out how to change it... but at that point i was willing to just drag him in kicking and screaming if he didn't listen... it was that or have a frozen dead father and i was not having that.. just glad he figured it was probably better to go inside on his own..


it seems as though he has reverted back to being "child like"
he throws tantrums for no real reason.. he has to be reminded to shower and change his clothes or he wont.. he has to ask for help for simple things i know he use to know how to do..he has some repetitive actions he does over and over. ( similar to OCD checking) but he has no idea why he does them, unlike OCD where the action is done for a reason and the person knows why they are doing it..


what really creeps me out is he will have moments of total clarity where he will remember things from the past and hold a complete conversation with me... he has even said in these moments that he knows something is wrong with him.. and he does not want to end up like his mother (she was very bad remembered no one could no longer take care of herself and had to be put in a home) now id imagine that has to be the worst to remember that and fear even for a few min that the same "could" happen to him..


i don't know what i am really looking to get out of this post... i guess maybe some info/advice or just to have someone say.."i know what you are talking about".. maybe i just needed to get it off my chest.. i am not sure.
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