Firstly i must warn you i'm the other spectrum of this forum, those that are actual survivors of attempted suicide.

I don't condone what i did [16 years ago] and at that specific time the demon drink played a hand in events. But my mental health was the key factor.
My in-laws, and family... couldnt't understand...i had a beautiful wife[still have] a young son of four months my own house etc...
but what everyone else saw was a balanced mind......sadly inside i was not ...


Whatever you feel about the act... do not see it as an afront/or snub to you and your children...Your husband would never have intentionaly wanted to hurt you.

But he has....and your pain anguish and anger are humanly justified...
But years on from my own experience you have to accept the past forgive it if you can and LEARN FROM IT.

YOU WERE NOT THE REASON HE DIED, HE chose to or ended up on a path of self for filling prophesy where sadness and desperation lead people into irational behaviour... Self medication through Alcohol is common in underlying mental health...its not the answer ... but sometimes its the soloution.. Alcohol is an addiction... it comforts you when your low,//makes you laugh when your happy...feeds you when your emoitionaly hungry//never answers you back or disputes what your thinking or saying. Defends you when you think your in the right//diserts you when you know your in the wrong// but above all when you need an ear//a shoulder to cry on/ drink is always there.


I know several people, who the world thought were strong and upstanding, and had meaning to live, yet took their own life and left distraught families in their wake...Why we will never truley know... because sadly we dont live in the minds of others.

I truley wish you peace in your trauma, and pray this pain will gradualy reduce.

If you ever feel the need to be angry and shout, i am more than willing to listen.............

DAVID