Great way to put it Sandra! Stubborness is a great personaility trait to have with this or any chronic pain!

Rocker,

I like how you have used the tree analogy...a very fitting analogy for the way this disease and coping reflects on different branches in our lives.

If you drew a picture of your tree and wrote all of these dealings/difficulties and changes on each branch and found a way to get through each one maybe that would help you. What if you drew leaves for everything you were able to overcome, accept and ways to deal?

For instance, you said one branch was for your FRIENDS WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND...You could now draw a leave off your branch which includes the fact that you have recently found new friends who do understand. (Here) That's one leave, you have found a way to [B]DEAL with people who do and overcome!! [B] (Maybe two leaves)

Another leave can be for ACCEPTANCE of the lack of underatanding of your friends. No matter how much someone loves you, a spouse, parent, friends...they can never compeltely understand, even if they sympathise and want to know. They will just never know. They, themselves, may have a problem accepting the changes in you as well. Once you were strong and energenic and now scream inside from pain...Accepting that I am different from before and may have less in common with certain people is something I have personally come to accept.

For those friends who don't believe your pain is real, I would not consider friends. (Luckily I don't have any of that going on so that's all I can offer)

If you did this and see your branch sprouting leaves as you cope and deal with these issues, maybe it would be theraputic. I do this in my head, but I don't use the tree anaolgy. I just face so many challenges but find ways to work through them. You can too...I have faith in you.

I bet if we were all to draw up tree we'd be surprised at how strong we really are! Maybe we'll see we have things to work on as well.

Thank you for giving me so much credit for trying to strum along inspite of my pain. I actually have 3 kids, two teens, one 7 year old, husband and two Greyhound dogs. I'm very busy...but I think it keeps me going. Thank you for all the kind words, I do pat myself on the back for trying. But I also give everyone else a pat on the back, like yourself, who do all you can to keep your head up every day, post messages and learn as much in order to help the others here.

Love to all!