((((((Mama)))))),



I know that feeling so well. I was so panic stricken just before my emergency gall bladder removal surgery that they were going to cancel the surgery. I couldn't stop crying. I was just about hysterical.

One of the doctors came over and asked me if I wanted to cancel the surgery. I told him to stop being an ***

I've had a few surgeries and miscarriages and things where I've had to be sedated. What used to happen was that I would become so depressed afterward that they had to keep me in the hospital a couple of days longer. Turns out it was a reaction to the sedation that they used to use. The anesthesiologist went back and looked at the record to see what they had given me so that he could use something different.

So ... I don't have that problem anymore.

What was causing me to be so upset just before the GB surgery was that no one knew where I was. I checked out of one hospital against doctors orders at 11PM and went through the EW in the hospital where my primary doctor practiced. No one knew I was there. And, for some reason, that just freaked me out.

This is gonna sound like such a simple solution -- but, believe me, it works.

Talk about it.

Arrange to meet the nurses and the anesthesiologists that will be taking care of you. Let them know how frightened you are. That way when you go into the operating room, you'll know the people that are going to be caring for you. And, they'll know you too -- know you as a person, rather than as a piece of paper in a medical record.

I understand that sheer, scared of the walls closing in, taking all your decision-making power away from you feeling -- I've felt that. And, I've come through it. You will, too, Mama.

Talk with everybody. Here, At home. At work. In the grocery store.

There's a kind of subtle role-playing way of discussing your 'issues' with everybody in The Universe -- they don't really realize the depth of what you're talking about, but, it helps you, nevertheless.

This is how it works: say you go to the grocery store and the clerk asks you how you're doing. Instead of saying 'fine' like you always do. Tell 'em you're freakin' losin' your mind -- you've got surgery coming up and you'd rather go on a date with The President So, what you're doing is making a joke and not letting anyone now how 'serious' you are. But, they get the message and they're usually willing to talk about a similar experience -- either their's or someone else's. Whether you're joking around or whether you're serious -- the talking about it helps.

This is another example: you tell someone, "I'm losing my mind. I'm trying to get all the housework done before I go in for my surgery and there just aren't enough hours in the day to get it all done. I wish I could hire a housekeeper for two days." They'll sympathize with you and maybe give you some suggestions.

I read in a book somewhere that -- tea and talking is Jewish therapy. you talk about a painful/bad experience over tea with someone until the experience becomes just words that you share with another human being. That's not anywhere near a direct quote; it gets the gist of it across though.

There are so many of us that share similar feelings and experiences. When you allow people to help you, those shared feelings and shared experiences become much easier to bear.

Bless you, sugar. BIG HUGS.

Barb