Heather, Greyhound, and everyone else, thank you so much for the support, and just the knowledge that comes to me through your experiences. Deciding to check out a forum, and get involved in discussing the reality of this, in an uncensored way, with others "in the same boat", would make anyone very much less alone.

It is very much like a tree with so many different branches..definately of our emotional selves and the spectrum of emotions that come with the prize of RSD. Thus far, and I know you all that dealt with this, and know this pain better than I do, what I have learned is this:

1. Not only do you have to take it one day at a time, verses getting caught up in statistics about success rates, whether you will work, medicaid, SSI, worker's comp and when they will cut you off, everything that so many of us happening in our complicated world that we live in, WE HAVE TO TAKE IT AS IT COMES. It's sort of like getting dealt 50 cards that all have different things written on then (like all the factors listed above and then some, and, of course pain), and flipping the cards over, reading what they say, and having one stack for the things that you can control, and another stack for the things you can. What you can control, then, by god, take the bull by the horns and take all open avenues to change what you want to change and are able to change. As for that huge stack of cards that you can't control, you put them in a box of storage in your mind and deal with them when it;s time. Otherwise, forget about their existance. It's a trap to get caught up in things you have NO CONTROL OVER. Plus, just even condensing RSD down into one thing, the most pressing thing, presenting itself, at the moment, makes it "not so big" in your perception and easier to handle.

2. THough when i was initially injured, and I went through the body image issues of losing muscle I had worked so hard, for so long, to have, and watch it go away day by day, yes, there was a grieving process. And, I don't feel bad for embracing that change, grieving that loss, processing it through tears, but realizing, time and time again, I don't have to like all the RSD has taken from me, but I have to accept it. Realizing I didn't have to like what I accepted made things easier to handle in my mind. It both validated my feelings, but, respected the limitations put on my body.

3. You have to find "god in simplicity" (of course, not technically referring to god), but find happiness and beauty in all the smallest of things around you everyday and never forget, even when you are angry and in pain, the gratitude that you have for different people, places, or things. I do journal everyday and it helps me, through making myself write about gratitude for those in my corner of the world.

4. For me, too, last lesson learned this far....have not only a willingness and proactive approach/obligation to reach out to others, and do a lot of educating and expaining, is very important. I am not good at doing this, as pride stands in the way a lot, and I want, desperately, to put up the facade that all is well for others sake (knowing I am two seconds from cying out in pain). Also, having other outlets, be it private or public, is quite important too. Luckily for me, prior to this injury, my hobbies, outside of athletics, were. and still are journaling, writing poetry, and photography. And, guess what, RSD has been unable to take those things from me. And, sometimes, just producing something creative, on a daily basis, does fill some emotional need to contribute; to have accomplished something tangible and productive with my time.

Don't, please, interpret anything I have said as me being a know-it-all. In the general scheme of things, in reference to RSD, admittingly, I know nothing. All that i do know, concretely, for myself, is what i have written above from my own vantage point at this given place and time. I am sure it will continue to be an adjustment and learning process all along the way;everyday. But, know this, I am keeping my head up. No one can have my spirit; not even RSD.