Quote:
Originally Posted by David McCallion
Telling children the truth is the right thing to do.......as later in life when they hear it ...........it can be a awful shock...and more damaging.
I'm a firm believer in that, your constant presence arround your children, will ease their sorry, comfort their pain, and brighten their future.
Dont be affraid to show emotion to them...just explain your feelings..
Children are clever in that they can decide for themselves, what is important and when...When they start giving you hormonal greif you'll know they are growing up and moving on with their own life.
If they ever feel the need to talk about their father...please allow them to do this, because not allowing will store up trouble.
Art therapy is a great way of expressing feelings, your youngest child may get a great deal from this.... dont be shocked by her pictures though.... their just her imagination, expressing her inner thoughts...harmless..and yet theraputic.
Your eldest child sounds a serious academic... congratulations, too your parenting skills......Grade A students also need 'silly time'...which i'm sure all three of you could do with.....entertainment is expensive ....laughter is free 
And nohope....endevour to spend 1 hour a day on you.....healing takes a long time...........living takes forever................
David |
Thank you again for the emotional support and excellent advice. I ache for my kids and how they will never again see their daddy or have the life that they had grown accustomed to. I am doing my best to keep them busy which really takes any time away from "my time". My 4 year old told me this morning she wants a new daddy. I asked her "what about your daddy?" She said then she could have 2 daddys, one to watch her from the sky and one to hold her at home. For my husbands memorial, here in Portland Oregon (his actual funeral was in Medford Oregon and we did not attend) I had put together 3 huge memory boards of all the photographs I had taken over the years as a family. There is one picture that tears my 4 year old apart. It's one where my husband and I were camping when my oldest was then 4 years of age and Emma had not been born yet. She is soooooooo upset that she didn't get to go camping with daddy. There is a 7 year gap inbetween my girls. Not by choice, though, I lost 5 pregnancies between them. Emma was really a miracle baby and I spent the majority of that pregnancy in the hospital. Now the startling revelation that the losses could have had something to do with daddy's drinking.
My 11 year old Sara, I admit, had all the fun times spent with the family. By the time her little sissy came along, this family was being ripped apart. Sara has very fond memories of those times and loads of photographs to document them. Sara does not talk about her father unless prompted by me. I kind of get scared about her silence sometimes, but you would never know if you met her as she is enthusiastic, energetic, playful and full of love. I am also the proud mother of a "DARE" graduate and her solemn vow never to smoke or drink. May I be so blessed!!!
Thank you so much for your power note. I fell better today and am on my way with my 4 year old to have lunch with a friend in downtown Portland Oregon and the sun is actually out today!
Have a great day!