Wow, thank you! I really think it's you guys and everyone else out there sending their power notes that has me driven to carry on. It takes a really good listener to actually say all the right things that the needy person needs. I have found that here. I have wonderful friends, but I feel I cannot talk to them much about this anymore. My marraige was crippled years ago and my poor friends have had to drudge through this with me. Today, my 4 year old and I went into downtown Portland Oregon to see a dear friend of mine. This is the same friend who witnessed the horrible court hearing when my husband was in full withdrawls on the witness stand. She is desperately trying to get me into a new routine of healing and trying the single life again. I am not ready! I am in total despair just seeking those ears that can really listen. I don't want to make people miserable, I am just seeking a pick-me-up emotionally and you guys have all the right words to say and that's why I am here! THANK YOU ALL!!!